Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
