Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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