He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
