we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
