Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
