We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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