weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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