yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
