I will die if light touches me.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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