awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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