Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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