so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
