Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
