Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
