1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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