4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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