i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
