I heard we made out
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
