My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
