Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
