She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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