So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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