Tell her she can't have a vagina
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
