my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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