I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
