Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
