I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
