...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Randomize
