Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
This baby is an asshole
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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