I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
