I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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