I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
