Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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