Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
