Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
