she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
