Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
