The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I lost the right to judge tonight
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
