So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize