I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
