can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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