It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
