As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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