Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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