in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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