Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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