He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
