Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize