woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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