she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
this hospital has no fireball
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
