I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Randomize
