..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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