That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
