we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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