I cockslap morals
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
