Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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