She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
