no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
