You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
