The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
