This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
