We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
