im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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